and if my heart should stop i want to know if a curtain drops
by talesofthedrift
Summary: Love each other unconditionally under all of the conditions. - Catching Fire AU. Role Reversal - MerchantKatniss/SeamPeeta.
1. Adaption

"Your shots off."

The voice from behind startled him so much that when he went to turn, he caught his foot in the roots of a tree. If it was any serious threat behind him, he would have made out as an easy target, tangled on the ground, half covered in snow with his leg caught beneath the branches.

Gale made his was over to where he lay, held up in a sitting position by his arms. The two didn't make eye contact, Peeta adamantly holding his gaze towards the ground. His breath was visible in the bitter winter air, sharp puffs of vapour appearing and dissipating quickly around him. He didn't care that the snow was slowly seeping through his thick winter gear, he could feel his legs getting wetter and colder the longer he sat. He had enough clothes at his disposal than he knew what to do with now, the thick black hunting pants he wore now would probably never be in use again after today. What a sight it would be, Peeta Mellark, the fearless, powerful Victor, conqueror of anything in his path, Hero of District 12, brought down by nothing but clumsiness and wallowing in his own shame on the forest floor. The Capitol press would eat that up if they ever got a chance to see it.

His hand was well numb by the time he finally gave up his ignorance, pulling it out of the snow behind him and meeting Gale's extended hand. He pulled himself to his feet, dislodging his foot from the roots as he went. Brushing the snow from what left of his dry clothes, he finally met Gale's steely gaze, his eyes surveying everything as a hunters eyes would, but his body was visibly tense and hesitant. They both stood, mirroring stances in the brisk winter chill. Silver eyes met silver eyes, the two young men stood, looking more alike than ever. Thick unkempt dark hair native only to Seam folk tangled with snow, heavy breaths visible in the cool air, wrapped tightly from head to toe in whatever warmth that could suffice a trip to an area like the woods.

"Don't think I've ever seen you shoot like that," Gale mutters, breaking the tense atmosphere that had surrounded the two. Peeta let out a stale laugh, which seemed to calm down Gale to the point where he didn't feel pressured into treading lightly around Peeta, smiling along with him.

Peeta broke his stare, letting his eyes drift to the forest floor and then out over the clearing they were standing near. The sunrise was well over now, the soft yellow hues that broke the tree line when he first arrived that morning faded in with the dull grey that now coated the sky. It would be mid-morning now, and those in the District that didn't make their way to the mines this morning would be waking to ready for another day. It wouldn't be long before he had to be at Haymitch's house, the train for the Victory tour was set to leave for District 11 later that night and he could only guess his mentor had some sort of plan to explain to them.

"Yeah, well my mind hasn't really been on point lately." He trails off his words into silence, the tense atmosphere slowly settling in again after moments of silence pass between the two.

"Haven't seen you out here in a while," Gale perks up, sitting on a fallen log and turning towards Peeta. He pulls a hunting knife he had hidden in his game bag, scratching at the bark and twisting the knife deep into the log.

"No need to come here anymore."

Gale's expression dies down with that, the air still and void of any noise apart from the rustle of branches or the light snowfall. Peeta could tell that Gale was uncomfortable with the way he was acting towards him, quick and hostile, but he couldn't find it within him to dig himself out of the rut he built up in his mind over the past few weeks, even to spare Gale a few moments of himself.

He should be happy Gale even made the effort to talk to him today. It's been weeks since he last saw his old hunting partner, with the two of them finding no time between Gale working in the mines and Peeta's' new role as Capitol Superstar. For a moment, he wants to blame Gale for the lack of communication between the two. Sure, Gale gives up any and all of his days to work in the mines now, but that doesn't mean they can't meet in the woods late at night, or early before the dawn. He's almost sure that Gale hasn't once paid him a visit in Victor's Village since he moved in. Plus, Gale won't even show his face in the District if he knows that Katniss will be with him.

His moment of anger passes quicker than it came, and he scolds himself mentally for even thinking of placing the blame on Gale. How could he? If any of this is anyone's fault, it's him. He's lost count of the days he's spent alone, locked up in his huge mansion, nothing to entertain his thoughts or keep him busy. He takes almost daily walks through the district, down through the town square and into the heart of the Seam. Every time, he walks past Gale's house and sees the silhouette of his family painted against the closed shades, pangs of guilt fill him at the knowledge that he is capable of making their lives so much easier, but his cowardliness and Gale's stubbornness are a terrible mix.

"When does the tour leave?" Gale asks, breaking Peeta from his thoughts. He turns to see Gale, pulling to his feet and turning to leave back down towards the district. Peeta stands and looks at his retreating form for a moment, but when he turns and signals for Peeta to follow him, he grabs his bow and quiver that he discarded near the clearing and breaks into a light jog to catch up to him.

"Haymitch said around dusk," He puffs, breathing heavily from the short run in the winter chill.

"So you're free until later tonight?" He asks, craning his neck around to look at him while they continued along the narrow trail, pushing fallen branches and kicking snow off the path, "It's been a while since you've been back home, I know Posy has been dying to see you for weeks. You should come and stay for a while."

The memories of Gale's family and his own together brought a small smile to his face. They were as much a family could be without actually being blood related. He missed being able to look out his window and see Gale's brothers and sister, as well as his own, running up and down the dirty streets and playing with the other Seam kids, all worries and fears cast aside in their brief moments of childhood innocence. He missed the sound of their conversations over dinner, when the two families would meet to feast on whatever the two boys had managed to hunt in the woods that day. He missed Hazelle Hawthorne's caring ways, how she would be as much a Mother to him as she could when his own was so caught up in grief and agony. He missed how things used to be with Gale.

He sighs before he speaks up again. "I don't think I can. I promised Katniss that I'd help her get ready for the tour today." Gale stops moving for a moment, turning his neck to look at him. Peeta sighs, knowing what's about to come.

"You know, I kind of figured you two would be done with this whole love act by now." He says, the softest tones of anger riding on his words.

"Well, we can't really just back out of it now, can we?"

"You've certainly been very persuasive up until now," he replies, sarcasm dripping from his words.

Peeta closes his eyes and sighs, figuring it best not to provoke Gale any longer, and just prolong the inevitable until after he gets back. The air settles between them again as neither make another attempt to speak, walking in silence through the snow ridden trails back towards the fence.

When the two go to part ways after clearing the fence, Peeta grabs the loose hanging sleeve of Gale's coat and stops him from moving.

"Gale, look. I-"

"Peet, I'm sorry, I don't have time to argue," He says. Peeta sighs, knowing he's not going to get anything more.

"Come find me when you get back." Gale yells over his shoulder as he makes his way back down the beaten paths towards the Seam.

* * *

He pushed his way through Haymitch's cluttered hallway, pushing aside the stray clothing and empty bottles and butcher paper littering the floor. Clattering echoes from the kitchen down the hall, and assumes that Haymitch is stumbling around looking for more liquor.

But he hears mumbling from the living room and heads towards there, finding a passed out Haymitch sprawled out on the sofa, lying in a ragged pair of pants and a stained shirt, his hair tangled and greasy in thick black knots.

He sighs to himself. Of course he would pick today to drink himself into oblivion. He moves over towards him, kicking stray bottles from his path.

"Haymitch!" He yells into the mans' ear. Sometimes, if he's lucky, yelling will get him to wake up, but today it won't be enough.

He walks up behind the sofa, and digs his arms down behind the cushion. With some effort, he manages to use enough force to throw his mentor off the couch and land him stiffly on the floor with a thud.

He sighs again when he still doesn't wake up, but the light stirring coming from him is a good sign that he's close. Just a little more encouragement from the bottle should wake him up just fine. And with that, he grabs a nearby half empty white liquor bottle and soaks Haymitch with the substance, causing him to wake in a stupor.

"What the hell, Boy?" He spits when he sees Peeta holding the now empty bottle and the liquor drenching his body.

"Its tour day, and you need to get ready. We have things to go over." He says calmly, dropping the bottle and extending an arm to his fallen mentor.

"And you thought the best way to wake me was to drop me and douse me?" He accuses as he takes Peeta's hand and pulls himself to his feet.

"I tried to call for you, but you were out cold."

He staggers out of the room and Peeta follows closely behind. "I could really use a drink, but you just drowned me in my last bottle," He mumbles to Peeta as they move towards the kitchen.

"I stocked your pantry a few days ago, your latest shipment is in there too."

Haymitch pauses and purses his lips. "You're lucky you have your virtues Boy, because I'm still pissed about what just happened."

Peeta almost laughs at the statement as Haymitch pushes the half-open door to the kitchen open and makes his way in, slumping down against the table.

When Peeta walks in a moment after, it's the first time he sees actually sees Katniss, considering it must have been her he heard when he first arrived.

Her golden hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and the thick, woollen coat she must have worn here was left hanging over one of the dining chairs, leaving her in just a light blue dress.

"Hey," Peeta greets when he walks into the room. Katniss turns to him, giving him a weak, but nonetheless easy-going, pleasant smile in return. "I thought I heard you come in," She says as she places a plate of eggs, sausage and hot grain in front of Haymitch.

He lifts his head at the smell, and eyes the plate of food before looking up and staring at the girl. "I'm not hungry."

Katniss sighs, folds her arms and looks straight at Haymitch. "Today's an important day for all of us, and you're more than likely going to ruin something if we don't fix the problem now," she says, "So here's what you're going to do. You're going to eat this, then you're going to go upstairs and clean up because you smell like a liquor factory," She says, scrunching her nose up at the stench.

"You can thank your boy over there for that," he mumbles.

He looks up at her steely gaze again, holding it. "And then," she continues, "You're going to come down here again and help us get through the rest of the night."

She stares him down as his dull grey eyes hold her own sparkly blue ones. "Eat." She reprimands as she slams down cutlery in front of him. He mutters something under his breath before slowly grabbing the utensils and grudgingly eating his meal.

Peeta lets out a chuckle at the small exchange, causing Katniss to look over at him leaning against the kitchen bench. Their eyes meet momentarily, and he can see worlds swimming in her eyes before she looks away, a small look of sadness on her face. The air in the room grows heavy, and the pair stand awkwardly, not knowing what to do with themselves.

"So you two are still cold shouldering each other, huh? Great progress we've made then." Haymitch mumbles from his seat.

"Shut up and eat your food," Peeta snaps from the other side of the room, causing Haymitch to return to eating and for Katniss to look at him again with hurt in her eyes. He feels a pang of guilt strike his chest, and he opens his mouth to say something to her, but ends up turning and walking to the living room instead.

He slumps down on the couch where he found Haymitch earlier, and runs a hand through his hair, still wet from the snow earlier that morning.

He was not looking forward to the torture that the Victory Tour was ensured to bring, or any of Snow's mind games that would follow suit. If this morning was anything to go by, Haymitch was right about the lack of progress that He and Katniss had made. Sure, in front of the cameras they were a whole other the story. The love struck teenagers painted a fairy tale by the Capitol press. He could act well enough and Katniss conveyed her feelings on screen flawlessly. But behind closed doors they were almost hostile to each other. Still awkward and pained after their harsh meeting after the last games, and every time he would see her after that day he would be filled with guilt over the pained look in her eyes when they would lock eyes over the town square, or through the windows of the Victors Village.

He sighs when he thinks about the fact that this is just the beginning.

A knock on the door frame startles him from his thoughts, and he looks up to see Katniss peering at him curiously. Her demeanour changed immediately when she noticed him looking back at her, and she coughs quietly before speaking.

"Effie called ahead this morning. Wanted me to tell you that they would be here early, to help get the area ready, and Cinna and Portia need to make some alterations to our outfits for tonight." She says quietly, fiddling her hands as she stands in the doorway.

"OK, uh thanks, Katniss." He say. He gives her a soft smile and stands, walking over to the window and propping his hands up on the ledge, looking out over Haymitch's snow covered yard.

It's quiet for a few moments, before he feels Katniss walk quietly and stand beside him, looking out through the window. The two stand there, a relatively comfortable silence between them, opposed to the regular awkward atmosphere.

"You look tired." She says softly.

Peeta hears her speak beside him, and turns his head to see her looking at him, again with that deep, curious gaze locking him in.

"Haven't been able to sleep much. It's hard sleeping in that massive cloud-like bed by yourself when you've gone your whole life sharing a bed just bigger than yourself with someone else," He says quietly, holding her deep blue eyes with his own. Her irises shine with innocence, wonder and so, so many other things that he has trouble naming them.

They find each other just standing, looking at each other for a while, the late afternoon light spilling through the half closed shades.

Peeta is the first to break the contact, sighing and looking down at his feet, running a hand through his hair, dishevelling his dark curls again. "I guess the nightmares don't help too much either, especially when there's no one there to wake you," He finds himself saying, laughing bitterly at his statement. He looks up again to find Katniss' eyes trained on him again, and he feels himself getting drawn back into the luster of endless blue that he always finds there.

"I know, I get them too." She whispers, and he barely hears what she says because he's too busy looking at her.

The pair jump apart suddenly, when they hear a loud crash from upstairs, followed by a muffle, vulgar outburst from Haymitch. Katniss steps back, her eyes trained on her feet, as she makes her way out of the room. "I'll go check on him." She mumbles as she leaves the room.

Peeta sighs, and leans against the window sill he was at before. With a thousand thoughts plaguing his now spinning mind, the best thing he could have done was walked across the courtyard, back to his house, and locked himself in and shut off all the lights, leaving himself to wallow and wonder his house as he had done for so long now. It definitely seemed preferable when he started cleaning all the trash from Haymitch's floor, readying it so that Effie wouldn't be subjected to an aneurysm when she arrived.


	2. Idle

Effie summed it up to nervous energy. She said he was just anxious because it had been so long since Katniss and himself had been on camera together. She assured him that they would be fine, that they fitted together perfectly on screen and conveyed just the right amount of emotions to keep the Capitol audience swooning over them, and that the outfits that Cinna and Portia had designed for the two tonight were absolutely gorgeous, and were sure to attract widespread attention with all the great fashion minds back in the Capitol.

He didn't even notice his leg bouncing rapidly against the chair, but was finally brought out of his trance by his Prep Team after numerous complaints about his fidgeting and how he kept backtracking their progress on his makeup and hair. Haymitch chuckled sourly behind him somewhere in his usual drunken stupor.

"You've been looking out that window for a while, boy," He grumbles, slumped in a chair in one of the darker corners of the room. He belches, and a foul smell drifts across the room. He scrunches his nose in repulse, and even causes some of Peeta's prep team to reel back from the smell. Figures he would be back drinking by now, his futile attempts to get him sober this morning obviously didn't last, and Effie's frantic rush to get him prepared and dress when she first arrived would have only encouraged him to drink again tonight.

Effie did manage to make him look better than he has in a while, a clean shave with relatively tamed hair and a full black suit, but Haymitch still managed to stain his overcoat with white liquor in less than ten minutes.

"I'm surprised she hasn't thrown you out the door yet," He says, getting up and walking over to the window Peeta was looking out earlier. He almost laughs at the way Haymitch stumbles over every step he takes, "She's been there for five minutes herself already."

Haymitch was right. It was strange that Effie would let the interviews start without the two of them present for the cameras. As soon as Katniss had finished with her team, he remembers seeing her being rushed briskly down the hallway. They made eye contact briefly as she was being towed by his door, and she looked just as confused as he did that they weren't leaving together.

But maybe ten minutes had gone by now and Katniss was still standing by herself, laughing and smiling and twirling as she always seemed to do for the cameras. She was probably showing off her outfit, a dark green dress that flowed all the way down to her legs, and pair of heels that matched the colour of her coat, Caesar always had this fascination over her outfits ever since her first interviews last year.

"OK, honey, you should be good to go," Venia hums as she tousles a few stray hairs on his head. The rest of his prep team finish up their tasks and allow him freedom from the styling chair they trapped him in for the past hour. Cinna leads him over to the vertical mirror that Effie had installed earlier that day, insisting that it was extremely necessary for anyone of his caliber to have such trends, and does some last minute adjustments to the thick black dress pants, undershirt and heavy woollen coat that rests on his shoulders to shield him from the snow that began to fall lightly earlier that night.

"You ready for the tour?" He says as he straightens out the coat.

"Is anyone ever really ready," he sighs, looking at his form in the mirror. The laded coat, according to Cinna, was designed to accentuate his now broader shoulders and frame him suitably, but right now he just looked the same. His prep team tried their best to cover up all the marks and traits of weariness and sleepless nights. To a stranger, they would assume him as happy and healthy as can be, but to anyone close to him, the telltale signs would show through like the brightest beacon.

"Peeta, dear, come now, you look lovely, but we mustn't leave poor Katniss alone for so long," Effie's shrill voice carries down the hall, and she appears a moment later, her arm stretched out ready to trail him out the door.

"Remember what we talked about, boy." Haymitch mumbles as Peeta stands at the door, waiting to make his entrance to the courtyard. He turns and gives his mentor a sharp nod, earning him a raise from Haymitch's flask before he whisks himself out the door.

The snow was maybe falling lightly for half an hour, but already there is a sheen coating along the pavement and the remaining empty residents of the village. The wind blew slowly, and the snowflakes still adrift swayed to the left, creating almost a mist along the skyline. He watched as they floated, and his gaze traveled over to the setup of cameras and monitors.

Katniss stood alone, looking adherently into the cameras, her tongue caught between her teeth as it always does when she is focused on something, a trait Peeta picked up on years ago. Her hair, let down tonight, was swaying softly in the breeze, and the few snowflakes that managed to drift her direction were now caught up in her golden waves, dampening them.

He always managed to get distracted by her hair. He never figured out why, but something about it always managed to draw his attention out and capture his mind.

He made his way slowly down the stairs, careful not to slip on the slowly forming frost, and pushed his way across the courtyard, his eyes never leaving Katniss. She was standing off looking to the side where the cameras were set up, so she couldn't see him approaching her.

He's not sure what pushes him to do what he does next, but with all his focus on Katniss, the way her small subtle frame looks so delicate in her dress, the way the light and the snow reflect off each other to contrast the glow of her hair and the paleness of her skin, the way her laugh is so soft and quiet yet it echoes greatly across the concrete draws him closer to her.

And as soon as he reaches her, he grabs her arm and spins her to face him. And before she can react to him, he grabs her waist and pulls her close to him, and bends his head to get better access to her lips.

They were stagnant for the smallest moment, their lips pressed together, until almost instantaneously they began moving in tangent, falling into their old routine so effortlessly that it's almost as if their relationship had been a constant since the games ended.

Katniss is quick to pull her arms from her sides and wrap them around his neck, pulling them closer to eachother, and resting her hands on the spot where she can easily reach the hairs that fall and curl from the back of his head, twisting her fingers through the threads and playing with the loose strands. Peeta steps closer still, their bodies almost flush against eachother, and he brings one hand up from her waist and places it on the small of her back.

The whole kiss seems different from the last ones they had. All those weeks ago after the games, the numerous interviews and public appearances, their kisses were subtle. Made to show great affection and love and care from the outside, but inside it was nothing more than a feeling of guilt and sadness on his part. But this was different from those, much like the ones in the games, this one held more passion, more intensity, and as their eyes fluttered closed, each fleeting kiss another followed, stronger and more demanding than the last.

Before he left Haymitch that morning, they had both confined themselves to his kitchen once Katniss had left to get prepared. He tried as best as he could in his drunken state to convey some ideas to Peeta. All he managed to get out, saying it maybe 5 or 15 times to Peeta making it drill into his mind, was that it was absolutely crucial for the two of them to be able to convince the people of the Capitol and the Districts of their relationship. They, especially Peeta, really had to push their displays of public romance to show them that they weren't seeing a fake story.

At least it wasn't all fake, but it tore Peeta down inside having to play along with this girl that has done so much for him. She's said before that she understands, that she gets what happened in the games was for their safety, but he can see how hurt, how sad she really is when the cameras stop rolling.

And so it hurts him more that with each second they continue to stand in the falling snow and embrace each other, they both give in to the feeling and work their lips harder but softer against each other. And it worries him as his mind seems to get foggy as they go on together.

And after what could have only been a few minutes they finally part in a cloud of ice cold vapour clouds and heavy breaths.

They rests their foreheads against each other, still wrapped up in each other's arms. Peeta openes eyes first to see Katniss, her eyes still closed and a soft pink tinge covered her cheeks. She opened her eyes a moment later and peered up at him, an ocean of emotion clouding her eyes.

"Hi," he whispers, earning a quiet laugh from Katniss. He smiles and the two of them continue to look at each other until a cough from the monitor breaks their trance.

"Well, that certainly was a display if I've ever seen one," came the rich, hearty voice.

Peeta lets out his best fake laugh as Katniss blushes wildly, pushing her face into the front of his coat, effectively hiding it from the cameras.

"Sorry Ceasar," He says as he turns Katniss to face the cameras, wrapping an arm around her waist, "I haven't see her all day."

"Oh, that's fine, Peeta. You two are just so adorable I couldn't tempt disturbing you," Caesar gushes and flashes his bleach white toothy smile.

"I almost couldn't tempt myself either," says Katniss, earning a laugh from all three of them.

"Anyway, anyway, enough with the consecrations, let's get this going, shall we? What do you all say?" Caesar gestures to the audience on screen, rousing various cheers and whistles from the crowd.

Next to him, Katniss stiffens in his arms at the sound of the Capitol residents cheering for them, and Peeta pulls her closer to his side, reaching his free hand around to grab hers.

"Now, I believe it has been quite a while since we last caught up with you two, and I can say myself that it's been far too long," Caesar and the audience both share their agreements among each other, and Katniss offers another smile to the cameras, "What have you two been up too, all alone out there in District 12?"

Peeta is the first one to speak up, "Enjoying our lives together," he starts, looking to Katniss and giving her a shy smile. She meets his eyes, and returns his smile. "Thanks to the graciousness of President Snow and the Capitol, we've been able to enjoy our new lives together better than ever before," She says, leaning her head against his chest and turning back towards the cameras.

"Ah, isn't she sweet, folks?" Caesar gestures to the audience.

"Now, I believe you two will be visiting us very soon, on your Victory Tour, yes?"

"That's true, once we travel through all the districts, we'll be sure to pay you a proper visit Caesar," Katniss says with that cheery vibe she always gives in her interviews.

"Wonderful, wonderful," Caesar laughs, "Well then, I'll have to save some questions until then now, won't I?"

"We can't wait," Peeta says rather forcefully through his glued on smile.

"I have been told that you are running quite a tight schedule, so I won't hold you too any longer than we need too," The audience in the Capitol show their contest to the decision, and Caesar takes a few moments to calm them down. "So, I think it's time about we farewell you. We wish you all the best, and are eagerly awaiting your arrival here in the Capitol," He gushes his words with cheers from the audience, and the two of them struggle to feign flattery for such a long period of time.

"How about it folks, a round of applause for the young couple," Caesar rounds off his broadcast with a wave and a bow towards them, and Katniss and Peeta stand and wave the monitors away until the screens switch to static.

"Nicely done, Ladies and Gentlemen. Quick, quick now, everyone up and packing, we are on a right schedule!" Comes Effie's sharp Capitol accent from the top of the staircase she and Haymitch are waiting upon.

He didn't even notice how strong his hold on Katniss' waist was, until she was being pulled away by her prep team for some last minute adjustments, the cameras wanted some last shots of them boarding the train for the tour. She turned to look at him for a fleeting moment, before she was dragged over to a nearby bench and swarmed by brushes and combs.

Peeta sat down on one of the snow covered bricks lining the path of the courtyard, running his gloved hands through his hair, now wet from the falling snow.

He feels a figure loom over him, and looks up to see Haymitch, flask clutched tightly in his hand, ragged sharp breaths visible in the cold air.

"How was it?" He asks his mentor,

Not really looking at him, rather off into the dark distance beyond the entrance to the Victors Village.

Haymitch takes a draw from his flask, the alcohol swishing around inside the metallic container. "It was good.

Should hold them over for a while."

The two of them are quiet for a while, until Effie's command for everyone to begin heading towards the station echoes through the courtyard.

"Nice touch with the kiss, you had everyone here swooning over you too again," he says before walking away, gesturing to Peeta's prep team.

He makes his way slowly towards the gates, being one of the last in the courtyard. With his head turned low, he watches as his feet crushes the snow into the pavement below, running through any possible outcomes for the tour. He doesn't even notice when he walks right into someone.

"Oh," Katniss says after she recovers from her startle, looking up to meet his eyes, "Peeta." She whispers.

"Hey," he breathes.

They are quiet again, just looking at each other.

"How do you think we did?" He asks, immediately regretting such a stupid question.

She pauses for a second, looking around the now empty courtyard. "Good, I think we did enough for tonight," She murmurs. He doesn't like the faltered tone in her voice.

"That kiss was really something," she whispers, looking down at her feet, "I'm sure it looked like we really were in love, I know I could feel something in there." She finishes, looking up at him quickly, her eyes distant and only a few things floating around in them.

She sighs quietly, before turning and walking away towards the gate. Peeta sighs himself, dropping his head to look at his snow coated shoes.

When he looks up again, he sees Katniss turn her head back again to meet his eyes, before looking back forward and continuing out the gate towards the rest of the group.


	3. Clutches

The train made a low humming noise, if you listened close enough, that echoed all through the room, as it followed the laid tracks. It shook, the cabin swaying left and right slightly every time the train would take a turn or if something, an animal or other debris blown onto the tracks by the wind, would pass under the train. Not so great that it would throw objects or people around, but just noticeable enough that it rocked Peeta slightly as he sat on the window ledge, legs stretched out along the cushions and a now long cold plate of food sitting untouched beside him on the floor.

Dinner was only a half hour after they boarded, and he was already tired of the Capitol culture that he was set to endure over the next few weeks. The meal was tense, awkward, mainly between himself and Katniss, the mood still stale between them after their conversation in the courtyard. They sat and ate their initial meals in relative silence, not even chancing a look at one another, with Haymitch taking reverence in the quiet and choosing to sleep against his plate over eating. Effie tried her hardest to get the conversations going between the four.

It wasn't long after that Peeta pulled himself from the room, taking his plate of food with him, after Effie's conversations began to touch on things that Peeta was not up for discussing.

Katniss called his name softly as he stood, trying to keep him seated, she reached over and held his wrist, looking at him with an expression that said to just ignore Effie. But he pulled out of her soft grip, looked away and walked out of the room.

That was the first and last time they so much as communicated since they boarded the train. And now he sat as he has been for the past however long since he walked out on dinner.

It was late, or early into the morning, the train had left District 12 around dusk, and he was fairly sure that he had been out here for a few good hours now. No one had come into the last carriage since he had, and the few times he checked the hall told him that this was one of the less travelled areas of the train.

It was dark enough that the shadows and silhouettes of the trees flying past the windows were cast by the light illuminating from the train, but the light stretched no more than a dozen feet across the way. The trees reminded him of home, of the woods, and as they blurred into each other in the night as one thick murky shade of black as the train went by, it felt as though if he reached out through the glass he would feel the leaves and branches run along his skin, through his outstretched fingers.

But all the window did was remind him of how trapped he was in this train. How he would never really have the free option to explore and live among the vast wildlife that seemed to go by endlessly, untouched and free from the rule of the Capitol. It seemed to pull him back in, away from getting lost in the blur of the dim colours and back into the lavish Capitol styling of the carriage he was in, how the light that sat above him flickered every once in a while, the harsh porcelain glow it castes across his body broke him slowly from his thoughts.

When the rain began to slowly fall later that night he was long out of his thoughts, left to stare at his weary, drowsy complexion in his reflection, which grew more unclear and distant at the rain stained the window and fogged the glass from the outside.

It had to be nearing daybreak in a few hours, and he figured that it would be at least wise that he tried to gain some sleep, there was no doubt in his mind that Effie would have him and Katniss running boundless all over District 11 tomorrow.

So he pushed himself off the ledge and braced himself as he stood. Not moving for such an extended period of time had not been kind to his legs, and his muscles were stiff as he paced around the room a few times. He was still dressed in the clothes from his interview earlier that day, or the day before, and the snow that had fallen during and soaked into his clothes had made his body chill overtime. He leaves the plate, and as much as he feels guilt over leaving it to the Avoxes to clean, there was no way that he wanted to carry himself through the train and risk getting caught by a stray peacekeeper this late at night.

He pushed the door to the carriage open slowly, and made his was slowly through the alcove and into the hallway. His shoes lay abandoned in the last room, too much noise compared to the barely audible sounds of his sock covered feet over the lush carpet. Most of the doors were closed, or locked, and he didn't really feel the need to go searching for nothing particular. The moon hung low, casting enough of an eerie glow along with the hall lights strung on the walls that he had enough light to guide him towards their rooms.

Their quarters were spaced out far enough, one for each person, that you couldn't hear anything from room to room, so he was surprised to hear light snoring coming from Haymitch's room, it would have to be loud enough to penetrate through the thick wooden doors. He passes Effie's room, and a few spares left along the hall, more likely left for crew aboard the train.

His and Katniss's rooms were adjacent to each other, right at the end of the strew, almost the exact same layout as they were during the games. Same king size bed, same showers, same closets, same window that hung almost the entire expanse of the wall.

He dawdled slowly towards his door, closed, when he was distracted by streams of light splayed on the floor in front of Katniss' door, which stood half open. It was odd, normally she would be opposed to leaving her door open, especially in a place like this.

But he couldn't help but walk forward and stand in the alcove, and look over her as she slept. The curtains weren't drawn, as she always had them, and if the windows could open he's sure there would be a breeze rolling in because that's how she likes it. The moon shines bright through the window, occasionally being halted by the taller trees passing by the train, casting a dim glow across the room. She looked so small, so delicate in the huge bed that lay in front of him, curled up in a bundle of sheets and blankets in the middle. Her head lay adorned by a throw of pillows, and her golden hair shone from the glow of the moon, let down from the braid that she usually wears when she sleeps, opting to be splayed around her, almost surrounding her head in a yellow halo.

She seemed peaceful, it made him feel a little less stressed inside to see it. The train did its best to contain all the heat inside, the winter chill often biting if you were to receive a gust of it through an opening or through the doors, but Katniss still lay surrounded in the thickest blankets provided, snuggling them all the way up to her chin. Her face was free of worry, a calmness washed over her as she let in and out little breaths.

He stood watching, maybe for five or ten minutes, just looking at her sleeping form, before she stirred slightly, her breath hitching and soft groans coming from her. Katniss' face scrunched into one of discomfort and worry, and she began to twist slightly in the sheets.

Peeta knew the signs of a nightmare all too well, and the fact that Katniss went through the same experiences as him during their games would definitely mean they were both experiencing the traumas and troubles that they bought back with them.

A sharp pang in his chest hits him when Katniss begins the struggle against her night terrors, and he almost makes it to her bed side when she stills, her face contorting back to the relaxed expression that she held before, her grip on the sheets releasing and her overall composure returned to the calm state of sleep she was in when he found her.

He takes a breath, not realising how heavy his breathing had gotten when Katniss had her brief moment. He backs out into the hallway and leans his back against the doorframe, reaching up and running a hand through his hair, now long disheveled from the tidy and formal style his prep team had made it that afternoon, or the day before.

It would be stupid to say that the games hadn't changed him, but it felt to him that his mindset of protecting Katniss, keeping her safe, had followed him from the Games. Something that would never have crossed his mind even briefly before the reaping, he would never have felt such a strong urge to watch over someone that wasn't Prim or Gale and his family, but he had began to notice himself how he always held her closer in the large Capitol crowds, how their hands would never loosen from each other once joined, and even in the games how Katniss would latch herself to him whenever it felt unsafe, and how he would hold shield her and cover her from any danger. Even now, how his defences reached a high and he was prepared to wake her from her nightmare and comfort her like it was a regular thing for him to do.

He takes one last look at Katniss, now returned to her peaceful slumber, before he turns and makes his way into his own room. The clock on the wall reads early in the morning, maybe 3 or 4, and he decides to skip bathing all together, shedding his formal dress clothes for a lighter pair of cotton shorts and a shirt, and his eyes are closed before he lays down, loosely throwing the sheets over his lower half, ready for another troubled night of sleep.

* * *

He woke, earlier or later than he usually did he didn't know, sleeping patterns weren't a regular thing for him any more. At least the sun had risen, its rays weaker through the winter air.

During the colder times of the year District 11 was never freezing like 12, he had heard, and the lack of snow covering the grasslands the train passed was one good thing, the chill was still evident to him, anyway.

He figured he had an hour or so to spare before Effie or the Avoxes came to retrieve him for breakfast. He didn't remember drawing the curtains closed a few hours ago, or maybe it was never open, but there was a slight crack that shone light onto his body, the floating dust visible in the light.

Sleep was a far thought now, he didn't really get much rest, his mind was foggy even in sleep and his eyes were heavy in evidence.

So he stood, pushing the thick blankets that were now pulled up and tucked a lot closer than he remembers them being, stretching out the stiff muscles in his back. Considering he didn't shower or clean himself the night before, almost a full hour he could spend showering seemed like a good option. His breath was stale as he yawned, pushing his way through his lavish room and into the bathrooms.

The lights flickered on when he entered, and he stood eyeing himself in the floor to ceiling mirror that lay adorned on one of the walls behind the wide basin and table covered with all sorts of Capitol decorum. His eyes were baggy, dark circles covering them. His hair now a thick tangled black mess, and a thin layer of stubble was beginning to show. His skin was paler than it normally was and overall he looked a mess to himself.

Nothing his prep team couldn't fix when they arrived later that morning, and so he twisted the shower handles, remembering from last time and his own in his house how to manage all the different features that came about, and the steady flow of pre heated water and steam filled the room around him. The whole experience was still unrealistic to him, having gone from bathing in barely lukewarm water a few times a week when necessary inside a small dingy metal tub, to such an over zealous device that he sees as such a waste and often feels guilty about using.

He strips down and stands under the streams of hot water, leaning his head against the porcelain wall and closing his eyes, letting the water do its job of cleansing his body. His mind wanders to what the day ahead of him had in store.

He knew one of the biggest issues would be his dealing of the situation with Katniss. The two of them could pull off the lovesick couple almost flawlessly now, and there was no doubt the whole day would require him to play his part for photos and interviews and whatnot. But he knew that sooner or later the two of them would eventually have to come face to face and deal with their situation. After the events of the previous day, he was sure the next few hours would be tense between them.

But he was more worried about the tour in general. The idea of revelling to the parents and families of his fellow dead tributes struck a nerve deep inside him, and in all honesty he really didn't think he could face the ones that he was close to, like Rue, or the ones that he personally had a hand in killing.

If he was placed with the responsibility of giving the speech in front of the district citizens, he knew he wouldn't make it through without feeling the need to run off and hide. But Effie would provide him cards with everything he needed to know, and he's sure Katniss would be happy to speak for the pair of them.

When he finally opened his eyes again, he noticed the subtle stinging to his back where the hot water had been flowing for the better part of the past half hour. He flicks the water to cold, and hisses at the sudden temperature change burning his skin. Sighing, he runs his hands through his hair, passing away from the shampoo and letting the water soak it clean.

Fifteen minutes until he will be called to breakfast is when he finally steps out of the shower, the tiles beneath his feet quickly pooling the water dripping from him. He towels off, washes his face and makes his way back out to the bedroom.

There's no real point in choosing an outfit for the day, Cinna will have something ready for him, so he settles on a dark long sleeve shirt and some pants. He takes a seat on the bed, only a minute or so until he is expecting Effie.

Almost instantaneously he hears Effie's shrill Capitol accent through the door.

"Peeta, Darling, your breakfast is ready. Don't be long, now."

He sighs, pushing off the bed and making his way out his door. He expected to see Katniss' door wide open, she always leaves it open whenever she's away. But the door was closed, and locked when he went to reach for the handle.

"Wheres Katniss?" He asks as he enters the dining cart. He takes a moment to look around and see that Haymitch isn't at his usual spot, slumped over his plate at the end of the table.

"Oh, Katniss woke early and already had her breakfast. She's off with Portia, readying herself for today," Effie sings from the other end of the room. An Avox comes to his side and rests a plate of bread and a bowl of hot grain in front of him, not the fresh bakery bread that he's now used to eating from Katniss' family bakery, but a more bland, mass production, pre sliced kind.

"You'll have to eat quick, Dear. We're due to arrive very soon. Cinna is a tad busy this morning so he won't be able to meet with you, but he's organised to have your clothes for today laid out in your room," She rattles off as her slender fingers tap away at an electronic screen before she walks from the room, leaving him to eat in solitude. He picks up the measly piece of bread and takes a bite, reeling from the off taste so different from the bread he normally eats.

Bread always reminds him of Katniss. Maybe it is because her family runs a bakery, but little memories of her always trigger whenever he visits the bakery and trades for a few loaves of the previous days supply, or when he used to, now that he can afford to use the front entrance he hasn't been to the back door in a long time. Plus, Haymitch said little things like visibly interacting with Katniss and her family would be good to keep their relationship fresh in the public eye, and not put too many people in doubt. It's not like he is extremely close with her family anyway, her Mother terrifies him and angers him for the way that she treats her family, especially Katniss, he barely knows her brothers only from interactions over the counter and from brief meetings after the games. He really only knew her father, from trading every day or so, he was the friendlier one of the family, besides Katniss, always giving a good word and happy to give away his product for some freshly skinned squirrel.

Small memories float around his mind while he chews mindlessly on the variety of goods that must have been put on his plate while he was lost in thought. Mainly little flashbacks of before the games, of trading through the back door and seeing Katniss at one of the benches, decorating or tending to the materials, and they would make eye contact, and he would turn away first, or she would turn away first with a subtle red tinge adorning her cheeks. Or when he would walk past the front windows of the bakery, his sister and the Hawthorne brood in tow, and the younger ones would stop and press up against the glass and talk wonders about the cakes displayed, and he would look and meet eyes through the window with Katniss at the front counter, and they would stare at each other curiously at each other before she would be called into the back room. Or when they would pass each other in the school halls, and sneak a look at each other.

One particular comes to mind. When the Capitol reporters were still milling around the district after they had returned from the first games, and Peeta was visiting Katniss at the bakery because Haymitch had told him to keep their public image in full swing until the reporters had gone home. The rain had kept him from leaving later then he wanted too, and so he decided to play up the act for the reporters stalking outside the windows, laughing and holding and kissing her and even dancing in the front room of the bakery.

He gave up on eating, his stomach not feeling up to the challenge of forcing the wasteful amounts of food supplied into itself, and so he pushed himself to his feet, leaving his mess to the Avoxes as much guilt as he felt doing so, and made his way to the room to retrieve his clothes for the day.

Effie was true to her word, as someone had come and laid out his attire for the the day, as well as tidied up his mess from the previous night. Cinna had left him a dark green toned woolen undershirt, and what looked to be a hand woven sweater of some thick material, along with some pants that were similar to the ones he wore now, although warmer. He slipped them on along with a pair of boots similar to his hunting boots from home, and trudged out the door in time with the noise that signalled the train had arrived at the platform.

His prep team had their way quick enough, a quick touch up here and there, and Cinna wants to go for a more natural look was the responses that he got over his treatment. They whisked him off faster than they came, towards the main hall where the doors would be open to the platform.

He caught glimpses of the platform through the windows of the hall as he made his way down it, maybe ten or twenty reporters and photographers that he could see this side of the platform had taken the journey down from the Capitol to catch a glimpse of the star crossed lovers. There were hardly any District 11 citizens from what he could tell, maybe the mayor and a few representatives stood at the back. Nothing like the Capitol itself, where thousands of residents would flock to even see the two of them.

The first time he saw Katniss that morning was when he finally entered the main carriage. She stood facing the window, looking out over the platform. Her sun goddess hair shone golden and bright almost artificially in the morning light, hanging low and loose around her face. She wore a soft blue dress that ended just above her knees, and a thick white cardigan of some sort draped around her shoulders. She stood, hands folded in front of her as she looked through the window, either not noticing his presence or just ignoring him completely.

"Right. Come now, children. We wouldn't want to waste our precious time," Effie says before the Peacekeepers pull the doors back and expose the carriage to the morning atmosphere. She saunters down the walkway before a dazed Haymitch rises from one of the chairs and heads towards the door.

"You two be good today," He says, looking at Peeta for a second longer before he pushes himself out the door behind Effie, leaving Katniss and himself alone.

Its quiet for a few moments, Peeta looks at Katniss look out the window to the mass of reporters. He almost moves to say something before she speaks.

"I guess we better go out there," She almost whispers, her eyes locked to the window, her tone softer than it usually is.

"Yeah, we should," He replies, looking at her as she continues to face the window.

"Ready?" She asks, almost nervously as she turns to face him, wringing her hands together in her lap. Her eyes are shallow, a mix of everything visible to Peeta as he looks deep into them for the first time since the previous night.

"Never," He replies almost jokingly.

A soft smile covers her face as she reaches out her hand for him to take. Knowing that they're about to step back into their roles of the star crossed lovers, he does a quick mental check before he takes her hand, locking their fingers together. He feels her breathing get slightly heavier next to him, and he runs his thumb over the back of her hand, it always makes her calm and relax, and it does, as she lets out a shaky breath. He watches her as she closes her eyes for a moment, then reopens them with a bright smile plastered on her face, any visible evidence of her previous mood gone, and she leads him towards the door to the platform, their entwined hands pulling each other along.

He had to duck his head to pass under the alcove, but when he rose and stood face to face with everyone on the platform, he was blinded and deafened by the flashes of the cameras and calls from the reporters and photographers. He would have stood there for a few seconds longer if Katniss hadn't pulled on his hand, dragging him back down the path, making an audible comment about how cute it was when he gets dazed by the cameras. He puts out his best fake laugh loud enough for the nearby cameras and reaches forward, pulling Katniss to his side and wrapping an arm around around her side. The small kiss he places to the side of her head earns him some coos from the nearby photographers and reporters.

They pushed on through the crowd towards an awaiting transport vehicle that would drive them around the district for the day, a line of peacekeepers on either side of the platform patching the way. There were more or less of them than he expected, but they outnumbered the reporters almost two to one.

Haymitch and Effie were waiting for them in the transport vehicle, Haymitch holding the door ajar while a herd of peacekeepers surrounded the car to stop any reporters from flocking to the pair. Katniss pulled him forward, their hands still entwined and she rubs her thumb in circles over the back of his hand. She steps into the vehicle and slides along the seat, pulling him down to sit next to her.

The inside of the car was small, two seats faced one another other with the drivers area adjacent to them, separated by a thick pane of glass or plastic. Effie sat opposite to Katniss, and Haymitch climbed into the cabin as Peeta slid into his spot next to Katniss.

When they were all seated, four Peacekeepers emerged from behind the doors and climbed into the cabin, one for each of them, and sat in the empty spaces beside each of them. Effie and Haymitch weren't phased at all by their arrival, like it was a regular protocol, but Katniss moved almost fully into Peeta's side when the guard sat next to her, grabbing Peeta's hand tightly. He squeezed it in comfort, knowing how nervous and uneasy she got around the Peacekeepers.

The car sputtered to life, as if it hadn't been used in years, and pulled away from the station down a dusty sun baked path, more likely heading towards the fields where the District 11 citizens worked. Effie shuffled in her seat before pulling out her electronic device and powering it on with a flick of her wrist.

"Right," She breathes, scrolling and typing rapidly, Haymitch rolling his eyes next to her and throwing his head back against the head rest.

"Now with all the pleasantries out of the way, we can get back to our schedule," Effie remarks, looking especially happy with herself that her hours of efforts put into the schedules were going to pay off.

Effie rattles off a list of things that Peeta couldn't really be phased at reprimanding, he would go to each location, do the task, and not think one thing of it the whole time.

Don't do anything that paints a bad picture. Keep the Capitol happy. Keep Snow unsuspicious. Listen to Effie. Listen to Haymitch. Protect Katniss.

They flashed through his mind like a highlight reel. Little notes engraved into the inside of his eyelids. His own private schedule to follow.

His little checklist flashed in his mind in time with the scenery outside the vehicle window painted in a blur as they drove by.

A few moments passed when Katniss called his name. He turned to see that the car had stopped and they were the only ones left inside. But she couldn't move very far because he still held a tight grip on her hand.

He pushes himself off the seat and out into what seemed to be the front landing of the District 11 Justice Building. Nothing really different from the one in 12, he noticed, maybe a little cleaner, bigger in some places, the District 11 Coat of Arms hung in the spot where the one in 12 would be. He's only been inside a Justice Building a few times, but it would be a safe bet to say its a pretty similar layout to the one back home.

"Come, now, we don't want to keep the Mayor waiting," Comes Effie's voice from somewhere near the entrance to the building. Their first stop must be a visit with the mayor, he remembers the thought passing through his head momentarily when she was first listing it off.

Katniss tugs at his hand to pull him out of his thoughts again, leading him up the stairs and into the looming monotone brickworks of the Justice Building.

* * *

The day dragged on. Endless photos and interviews and meetings and pleasantries and greetings and mindless conversations filled the expanse of time between when they left the train till now. He was exhausted to put it simply, mentally and physically. His mouth and face hurt from holding his fake, happy expressions constantly, his legs and back ached from walking and standing around. His mind was playing a tough game itself. The whole ordeal had already taken damage on his psyche, what with the fake relationship and the stress and worry of being under constant guard and surveillance everywhere they went.

He could see the visible signs on Katniss, too. Her eyes were growing dimmer by the second, and she would sigh quietly whenever they were faced with a new reporter or guest to entertain. He found her leaning heavier and heavier on him whenever they would stand together, and when he would hold or hug her she would close her eyes and whisper in his ear how tired she was or how she couldn't see herself making it through the next few weeks. He would laugh and make it seem as though she was making a subtle joke from the outside, to keep the observers clueless, but his hands rubbing her back were meant for her and she knew the real purpose of them.

Effie was dragging them back towards the town centre, where a few hundred odd of the 'regular citizens' as Effie had referred to them, had gathered for a public greeting and speech from the two of them. Though it was a high chance that they were being forced away from their labor to watch the two of them flaunt their new lifestyles.

Once they got through this, there was only the evening celebrations at the mayors residence, and then they would depart for the train and head off to District 10. It was nearing dusk, and the setting sun and the dampening mood of the district was slowly getting to him.

They had stopped outside one of the rear entrances to the Justice Building. He saw Katniss perk up from her spot next to him, and look around to see only Effie, Haymitch, himself and a few Peacekeepers lingering around the area, waiting for the doors to open. She exhaled, a hard sign of weariness, and turned to lean into his chest face first, closing her eyes.

He knew this was nothing more than just her being tired. She wouldn't show such a laid back display of affection if she wasn't in front of a camera. So he rubbed circles into the small of her back, and she let out the tiniest moan of satisfaction.

In his other hand he held two cards with pre prepared speeches for both himself and Katniss. Effie had taken the liberty of briefing the two of them before leaving the transport vehicle about what they were to do once they stepped on stage. Read from the cards. Thank the people and the Capitol. Look happy.

They stand behind a thick blue, unnecessarily tall curtain. The mayors voice can be heard echoing and delaying from various speakers placed around the square. The anthem begins.

He feels the cards being tugged from him and he looks down to see Katniss's pale hand pulling them out of his grasp. "I can do the talking. I know how feel about it," She says softly, looking up at him. He gives her a curt smile and his head shoots up when he hears them being introduced onto the stage.

Katniss takes a deep breath before reaching back and grabbing hold of his hand.

The crowd gives a mindless applause, and Katniss waves and smiles at the people because that's just the kind of person she is, always happy and friendly, never met a stranger, while he tries his best to not look miserable and uncomfortable, his fake smile weary as the day drags. The two of them stand before the old, beaten in microphone, slight reverb bouncing back through the speakers.

He lets her hand go and opts to rest his arm around her waist so she can manage the speech cards. She takes a sharp breath before she looks out to the crowd and starts.

He doesn't really pay attention to the words. He read the cards in the transport vehicle, all about the graciousness of the district for hosting them, the graciousness of the Capitol, guilt and thanks for the dead tributes, the regular spin on everything that gets repeated every year. His gaze flicks around the square, randoms in the crowd, to Katniss, a Peacekeeper looking dazed in the back, back to Katniss, Haymitch slumped against a wall to his left, back to Katniss.

He gazes over to the elevated platforms where the families of Rue and Thresh are seated. He averts quickly, not wanting to handle the guilt that floods him when he looks at them. He meets the eyes of Rues mother as he passes, and is met with a Steely but saddened gaze.

Katniss must have finished, and he was brought to attention from the weary applause of the crowd. Her bright smile is showing for the crowd. Cards abandoned behind her back.

He's about to pull her away towards the Justice Building, knowing that the ordeal is over and they have no reason to be standing there any longer, but she steps forward again closer to the microphone, and begins to speak, softer and more sincere. The reverb sends the crowd on alert, not knowing why she would start speaking again, and they remain standing where they were.

"I just wanted to say again how truly thankful we are to be here today," she starts, her voice almost shaky, "but I can't ignore the sorrow we feel over the loss of the two courageous tributes that represented your District so well."

She reaches back and takes his free hand. "Knowing the void that will never be filled from the loss of two extraordinary human beings, and the struggles the families will go through won't be an easy journey, we would like to offer ourselves for help.

She grips his hand tighter and runs her thumb over the back of his hand, looking at him for a moment. "So, on behalf of Peeta and myself, we would like to support the families of Thresh and Rue with one month of our Victors earnings, every year, for as long as we live."

She exhales heavily and steps down from the microphone, just as a genuine applause rocks from the audience. He chances a look at the crowd and sees a few shocked, grateful and proud faces among the sea. He could bet his own face would have a shocked expression.

Katniss begins to pull his hand and himself towards the opened exit doors, but his gaze still lingers the crowd until he lands on the families of Thresh and Rue.

The woman he expects is Thresh's Mother is crying, holding her children in her arms as she smiles down on them.

He looks to Rue's family again. Her younger siblings sit, looking confused around with bright round eyes. Her Mother sits, holding the hands of one of her children, and looks to him, giving him a small nod and a rough smile through the small tears sliding from her cheeks.

Before he knows what he's doing, he finds himself before the microphone and speaking to the crowd.

He takes a few breaths, the noise echoing through the speakers set around the square.

"I just wanted to tell the families of Thresh and Rue how sorry I am for their losses," He starts, his words coming out weaker than he intended them to.

"I.. I didn't spend much time with Thresh in or before the Arena. He watched over Rue during training. We faced off in a few practise drills," he was trailing away from his point, and he reminded himself to focus again.

"But when I was running from the feast, He let me go. He could have killed me then and there, but he spared me. And for that I will be forever grateful, knowing there's no way I can repay that debt." Thresh's Mother gives him a shaky nod, and weeps in the distance

He looks over to Rue's family. "But I did know Rue. We spent a fair amount of time together in the Arena. She pulled me from the Tracker Jackers and tended my wounds. We hunted together, protected each other and taught each other."

"I see her a lot, you know. In my dreams, I have memories of us in the games. I imagine her running through the meadows near my house." He pauses, looking over the crowd. Silenced expressions are watching him carefully, hanging on his words. Haymitch is leaning forward in his seat,

His hands covering his mouth. Katniss stands a few feet behind him, watching him adamantly with a look of guilt.

He takes a shaky breath before continuing. "I see her in my young sister, Prim. I see the good nature, happy, sweet hearted ways of her all around me."

"She was too young to go. I wish I could have saved her. I wish I could have saved them both. But I couldn't. And I'm sorry." His breath catches when he finishes, and he takes a small stagger backwards, Katniss's arms finding his waist.

It's quiet for a few moments, heavy breaths can be heard all through the square. Most people either look taken aback or extremely on guard.

Until Rue's four note whistle that she used in the games echoes from somewhere in the crowd. And almost as it was planned, the crowd parts down the middle, all heads turning too see an elderly man, his skin worn from working long hard days in the fields, one that looked to be reserved and reverenced, more than likely the suspect of the whistling, place his three middle fingers to his lips and raise them high above his head.

The two of them, and Haymitch, watch slowly as one by one people in the crowd follow the actions of the old man, until the whole of the square is filled with the District 12 native salute.

The two of them stand stunned for a moment, before the crowd slowly begins to disperse through the back of the square. Haymitch makes way slowly over to them, flicking his head towards the doors behind them. Katniss still has her arms wrapped around Peeta's waist as they walk into the building, when she turns and heads back towards the doors.

"Just left my coat, I'll be back in a moment," She says quietly. So he stands looking over the interiors of the Justice Building, refusing to leave until Katniss returns.

He hears it before he sees it. Shouts and screams from the crowd alert him, and he guesses the Peacekeepers are trying to 'control' a particularly rowdy group of residents.

But when Katniss lets out a strangled cry, it make his stomach drop, and he turns to see her a few feet away, ready to sprint for the door.

He looks over her to see the old man that whistled Rue's four note tune, thrown to all fours on the centre stage ground, Two Peacekeepers standing over him. A wall of other Peacekeepers try to contain an ambush of people trying to jump the stage.

"Katniss, no!" He yells, running forward and grabbing her, containing her from running towards the man. She shakes and squirms in his arms, yelling and trying desperately to escape his grip, until Haymitch comes aside and helps to restrain her.

Noise can be heard from all directions, and struggles of people are all around the area of the stage. But everyone falls silent and still when the Peacekeepers pull a gun to the back of the old mans head, sending a bullet through his skull.


End file.
